Halloween can be really scary

These are real. I saw these IN REAL LIFE.

THESE ARE HUMAN CLAWS.

Halloween came a little early. Yikes...
(feel free to zoom, it makes it even better)

The Devil Cooks Too

I experienced something new last night. Shallots.



I tried out an interesting recipe I got from the recipe app Epicurious - chicken with asparagus, capers, and shallots.
1. I love capers.
2. I love asparagus.
3. I love artichoke (which I promised I would add in any way possible.)
4. What are shallots?

I called my mom and she told me they're mini onions, and I managed to find them in the produce section. They're so cute!! I thought why am I not always cooking with these little guys, they're adorable and I bet they're delicious. I needed 12 ounces, which was 4 bags, which was about 16 shallots in all.
I get home and start peeling these cuties. And what a surprise I was in for.

Shallots are straight from the devil.

Onions always make my eyes water, as is true with everyone. But my eyes were burning so bad I almost burst into tears a couple of times because I still had so many to peel and slice. I gave up slicing half way through and used the chopper instead. I didn't care if the recipe said sliced, my dinner guests weren't going to know the difference. I just hope there wasn't any snot in their onions from my burning runny nose. Just kidding...

I swore over and over the entire 20 minutes it took me to get those suckers sliced/chopped that I would NEVER cook with shallots again for the rest of my life. Oh, but how convenient, there was an entire half cup left over. I bagged them up and put them in the fridge, figuring I'll toss them in something this week.

Lo! The entire refrigerator stinks now. Those onions were in there ONE NIGHT and you can't open the fridge without getting kicked in the face.
Big things do come in small packages. In small, pingpong ball sized, precious little packages.

Simmering Stir Fry

I'm not exactly sure what "stir fry" is. I mean, I know what stir fry means, but if I'm ordering it off of a menu, I don't think I really know what it is. Does it have rice? Are noodles in there sometimes? Do you pre-cook the rice? Does it have to have soy sauce cooked in?????? I'm so confused.

Anyway, I bought a bag of frozen veggies at Target the other day..."Stir Fry Medley" or something like that. You can never go wrong with a medley, that's for sure. I've been craving this medley but have been afraid to use it because I don't know the stir-fry rules. So I decided to make my own.

Simmering is quite possibly my favorite way to make food amazing. If I'm not sure if somethings done, or I need it to stay warm, or I want it to really soak the juices in, or if my bread in the oven still has 7 minutes, I simmer. Its pretty much my go-to move. When in doubt, simmer.

I chopped up my chicken, tossed it in with a little olive oil and sesame oil (pretty much an asian-food staple), seasoned it, and let it cook. Now listen, I'm a freak about meat. I never know when its done and my eyes have this magical way of seeing pink in the chicken even if its not there. So, to combat this fear, I just simmer it even when I think it might be done. I also hate microwaves - before I moved in with my current roommate, I lived microwaveless for an entire year and I never missed it once. Truly. So, how do you cook frozen vegetables if you don't want to use the microwave and want the juices/flavors of your chicken to mingle? SIMMER!

I tossed in a little soy sauce for flavor, tons of lime juice (can never go wrong there), put a lid on and let it simmer until my veggies were nice and soft.

I'd say if this wasn't really stir fry, well I don't really care.

Fatty McFat

This is disgusting, and embarrassing.



Let me just say in my defense, I haven't been able to dump my recycle trashcan in a REALLY long time so these have accrued. I used to never ever drink soda. But then...

Albertson's right up the street sells those long 24 cases of soda for 3 for 10. That's 72 sodas, which is like 14 cents a drink. 14 cents!!! We're like back in 1920 guys, is this possible? But that's not what did it to me, that's just what led to a stockpile of Dr. Pepper at the house. What really did it is the refrigerator. Yep, the good ole fridge.

Something is wrong with our fridge. There are 2, sometimes 3 spots (not shelves, SPOTS) in the fridge that if something is there it will freeze. We have tried adjusting the temperature, even blamed it on the location of the fans, but really there is no explanation. The very bottom crisper is one of the culprits. Well, parts of the crisper. There are 2 spots in there that will FREEZE your drink rock solid. The rest, just fine. But not "just fine", no these are GREAT. These are the best dr peppers I've ever had in my entire life. They get so cold down there that little ice crystals form in the drink. If you'd ever had a Dr. Pepper with ice crystals in it you will realize its the greatest drink on earth.

Me and my roommate compared one day. She got just a plain cold DP (borringgg) out of the fridge, at the same time I took a magical DP from the cold depths of the fridge. We taste tested both and agreed that the ice chips DP was waaayyy better. Since then, I drink DP constantly at home so I can get that mouthwatering refreshing feel of LITERALLY ICE COLD DP. It is delicious. So...now I'm on a kick and I take one to work with me almost every day. Its embarrassing. And disgusting. But whats probably even more gross is that yes, I just sat and dug every can out of the recycle bin. Don't judge me.

Turn your fridge down a couple notches and see if you can get this glorious phenomenon.

Naan Pizza

I made what I would like to think of as a healthy pizza this past weekend. Healthy by my standards basically means homemade. So, it could quite possibly been worse than the disgusting $5 hot-n-ready's Little Caesar makes that actually aren't even $5 any more, just like many things on the $1 menu are deceptively creeping up in price.

So, healthy pizza. I bought Naan bread...its these little round flatbreads you could probably use for anything but they scream pizza to me. (why else would you make ROUND bread? duh)
Italian sausage, mozarella cheese, and marinara sauce, viola.

looks like ground beef!

The italian sausage comes in links, so you could either slice them really thin, or chop them up like ground beef (or ground turkey, I know some people love that). I lightly covered the Naan bread with olive oil before I topped it only because my favorite pizza place offers garlic and olive oil as a base for cooking and its sooooooo delicious. So, it probably made no difference at all to my pizza, but I like to pretend it did. Next we layered on the sauce...and might I suggest being picky with your marina. Whatever we got was runny and not very pizza-ey. Next time I'm going to try Newmans (you can never go wrong there). topped with mozarella, meat, more sauce, and thinly sliced tomatoes. Oven for 15 minutes at 400 degrees, and done.

It tasted fantastic despite looking a little scary. It didn't really come out in perfect little triangle slices. But never judge a book by its cover!!!

Little Gentlemen

My oldest sister is participated in a craft fair Saturday and I decided at the last minute to whip together something crafty to put in to sell. I've been seeing these cute little onsies pop up on the internet world a bit lately, so I thought I'd try my hand at a few...which turned into several...but they're sooo cute I wish I wore onesies myself! Well, I suppose I could but....hmm, halloween costume idea? Adult diapers, giant onesies...nah, too far. Anywho, here they are!

 

These were so ridiculously easy to make, I couldn't believe it. I spent $20 on onesies and $10 on fabric, including Under Wunder...Wonder Under....whatever its called. Stop one, I drew and cut out my shapes. I arranged them onto my underwonder based on the fabric I wanted to use, that way I could iron everything at once then cut it out. Then I traced them.

Next I spread the material out underneath the UW, ironed it on, and cut out my shapes. The directions on the UW are simple to follow...no special secrets on how its done. I did find that once I cut out my shapes, the longer it had been sinced I'd ironed them the easier it was to get the backing off to iron onto the shirt. I had a couple that I kept overnight to finish in the morning and those were the two easiest to peel!

The most fun part about it is that you could make any little print you wanted! I really wanted to do a little elephant, or maybe a giraffe, but my drawing skills aren't that advanced. I had so much fun making these that I went back for a second round a few days later once my creative juices started flowing again!

PS...I don't know why my pics are uploading sideways. Annoying...

Now go make some onesies! (or feel free to buy mine =P )